this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize