Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
