All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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