We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
