He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
