I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize