I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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