So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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