i barfeds in our rink
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
