idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
