i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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