I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
