I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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