allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
