put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
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When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
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I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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