Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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