is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
