Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
