Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
