Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
