me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
