Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
