lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
