On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I need moral support for this bender
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
