i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
