So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
