i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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