Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
