Kiss
Puke
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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