Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
