nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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