your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
