Ambien. No doubt about it.
I bet he comes in French.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
