Im at strip club and am horny
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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