i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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