i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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