Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
A+ Viking dick
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