i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
