these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
