This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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