I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
