You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
