i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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