Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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