I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
