if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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