It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
