Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
no. you can't hotbox the world.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
