he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
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I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
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I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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