went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
