remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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