You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
