I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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