She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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