what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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