I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
