You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
