Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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