please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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