Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
