just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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