Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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