Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
