We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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